1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the
country.
3. The Washington Post is read by people who think they should
run the country.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like their
smog statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running
the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave L.A.
to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
country and they did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's
running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the
train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running
the country either, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably
while intoxicated.
9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there
is a country, or that anyone is running it
but whoever it is, they oppose all
that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are
handicapped minority feministic atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal
aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are democrats.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another
country, but need the baseball scores.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the
grocery store.
